Wednesday 15 July 2015

That Greek crisis in full

Greece: Uhm, we fucked up our economy, can we have a lot of money?

EU: What again? Ok, well this time, you're going to have to stop spending it on hookers and crack.

Greece: Ok, sure, we'll do that.

EU: Here you go.

Greece: Uhm, we fucked up our economy again, can we have a lot of money?

EU: But we saw you out the other night with two hookers and a boatload of crack. You said you were going to pay us back and sort your life out.

Greece: Oh we will this time. We really mean it.

EU: Well we don't believe you. We'll bail you out again, but hand over your credit card, you know what you're like when you've had a few.

Greece: But that's not fair, how do we pay for hookers and crack if you've got our credit card?

EU: Well, you can't, that's kinda the point!

Greece: You horrible Nazis! Hang on while we just have a quick vote on this.

EU: Well hurry up. You can either have it this way or you can just die on a soiled mattress with a needle in your arm. That's your choice.

Greece: We still want your money but we'll only give up hookers, and not give you our credit card.

EU: Sorry chuck, it doesn't work like that. No deal.

Greece: Ok, here's our credit card, but we need a few extra quid for a skanky whore.

EU: You really don't get this do you? You have to WANT to get clean. We can't help you if you don't want to.

Greece: But you used to be Nazis!

EU: Oh not this again. Look do you want the money or not?

IMF: He's been a good boy, go on, let him off!

EU: Oh FFS!!

Western media: "Germany bullies poor Greece. The bastards."

EU: Oh just fuck off, the lot of you.

Greece: Er, yeah, about that money...

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