Saturday 25 April 2015

The real reason for the boats

Immigration experts have been confounded by a new wave of migrant boats crossing the Mediterranean. Some have suggested it is a result of EU human rights law while others point to Western military interventionism, but a new survey of the survivors has revealed new insights.

Recent shipwreck survivor Adbul Sharir explains "In reality we could fly from any airport from around $400 but climbing aboard an overcrowded rickety barge for $3000 is a major improvement on British Airways. The food is a lot better and scrabbling up the rocks to reach the shore is still a more pleasant experience than baggage reclaim at Heathrow. You have a better chance of actually keeping your suitcase too."

He added "You get a free cup of tea and some travel shoes when you're rescued which is much better than the Costas by the taxi rank, and those Heathrow Express ticket machines are a nightmare to use. For sure you have to stay in a tent in Malta, but it beats a Bed & Breakfast in Hounslow. They're full of junkies and single mums. We may be refugees but we do have some standards".

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