From the outset I have had a torrent of mithering from supposed allies in all corners. Mithering about tone and language - in the assumption that if only we we nicer to people they would be more inclined to listen to us. This overlooks that the pig ignorant, self-absorbed, self-referential London clan have sought to exclude outsiders from the start - not least with the IEA who turned their backs on the very idea of a graduated exit from the EU - an idea now considered by our own civil service.
There has been plotting and scheming by illiterate, broadly racist Ukip scum to prevent Flexcit being adopted by the campaign, and a determination by the Remain campaign to deny such a plan exists. It stinks.
Time and again Richard North and I are told to moderate our tone and behaviour while it is perfectly acceptable for wankers like Boris Johnson to hijack the campaign and take a giant shit on everything we have worked for - while the eurosceptic aristocracy carve out their own fanbases on the back of risible Brexit propositions based on anti-immigration or libertarian fantasies.
Somehow we are supposed to moderate our tone and give these dickheads a free pass - meanwhile Tory wastrels have given the PM a free pass on the biggest lie of the century so far - that he has secured EU reforms. What the actual fuck?
In this we have all and sundry queuing up telling us what our tone should be, what we should do, how we should say it, and who we should speak to - regardless of them all being entirely unwilling to spend less time whingeing and actually doing as we asked - and set up a blog to attack the lying prime minister.
Richard North and I are utterly fed up, utterly demoralised and tried. We are sick of this pretentious twattery that says we must abide by certain standards but everybody else is entitled to fuck us over in any way they see fit. All the while the public are peeling away from the debate out of boredom and apathy.
At the launch of The Leave Alliance, the first question from the floor was not about the three years of intensive collaborative research we have compiled but a query as to whether it was the done thing to call Tory MP's bovine and Boris Johnson a moron. Despite both factors being entirely self-evident to anyone with an IQ exceeding that of a gerbil.
Frankly, I am sick of it. With four months to go, we've got the main Leave campaigns playing school yard politics - saying that the Remain camp can't say what staying in looks like - as their main defence. Anything rather than meet the challenge and present voters with comprehensive answers. It's pathetic.
Even supposed allies cannot make up their own minds, and the support we have is fickle - dependent not on the strength of our arguments, but on our willingness to watch our p's and q's in the presence of our betters - despite them pissing away our last best hope for democracy.
All we've had is a torrent of mithering rather than people joining our protest against the bastards who have hijacked this campaign from the outset and destroyed it - along with our chances of winning. Then have the gall to say that it is our protest that could cost us the referendum.
Sorry people, but given how little you have contributed to what we have tried to do, and how much grief you have given us, when all we have asked you to do is recognise and promote the fact that we need an orderly, planned withdrawal that protects trade, you have no right to be telling anybody how they should conduct themselves.
In fact, Richard North and I have come to the conclusion that being polite and constructive got us nowhere. It is not our conduct that prevented Flexcit being evaluated for use. It was the idiocy of Dominic Cummings and the cowardice of Arron Banks in the face of Ukipper idiocy.
In light of this, we feel no obligation to to pamper you or you sensibilities - and we will viscerally attack anybody on any side who has it coming because we have nothing to lose by doing so, except for the flimsy support we have - to whom we owe absolutely nothing. Doing so might be the one thing that actually sparks some energy into this otherwise lame duck of a campaign.
Some caution us that we risk being perceived as similar to cybernats from the Scottish referendum - but this is typical of the sloppy two dimensional thinking we see all round. The critical difference is that we are not blood and soil nationalists. We are pragmatists with a solid case for leaving and an even more solid plan to achieve it.
Anyone who wants to criticise our methods from here on in must demonstrate that others have put in even a tenth of the effort we have - with the marginal resources we have. Who among you has a better idea? We can play the wreckers if we choose because we have built up over a decades worth of political capital and now is our time to spend it. Who else can say that?
Frankly I am a gnats hair away from telling all of you to fuck off and I wouldn't be surprised if RN gets there first. Nothing is worth the bullshit even our own readers have put us through. We've had plenty of former kippers come to us an apologise for how they treated us for attacking us during the election, having realised just how toxic and inept Ukip were. The same will happen after we lose this vote. But what use is that?
The reply then will not be gracious when some of you have the decency to admit that we have been right from the outset - that Ukip are a bunch of amateurs - and that the largely Tory eurosceptic aristocracy are bunch of self-serving, self-satisfied morons without even half a clue.
I can say with pride that our team of bloggers have not in any way let us down - and it is ultimately they who have kept us going, but even then, because of the ineptitude and selfishness of the main campaign in ignoring us entirely we have not been able to expand that team. That's not our fault. This is a referendum killed by selfishness, egotism, pride and incompetence. Also jealousy, self-interest and political cowardice.
And if this sounds like those "sour grapes", you're fucking right it is. We have every right to be angry at our own side, not least those allies whose support has been only fleeting and conditional - even when virtually every day we have our noses rubbed in the meme that Leave does not know what out looks like.
Our side has not been able to specify how we would reach a destination, what that destination is and why the ordinary voter should even bother. That is why we are going to lose and that is why we deserve to.
In this, knowing what I know, it has been difficult to invest any energy at all in The Leave Alliance website in that eurosceptics are only interested in promoting the things that conform to their own narrow and dismal worldview, ignoring any of the arguments that might actually win.
In this I am absolutely at the end of my tether. I have no more patience and I am not in the least bit inclined to listen to a solitary word of advice from any of the wastrels on our side who have barely lifted a finger to help us - especially those fair weather friends whose own work is an actual embarrassment to be associated with. I actually couldn't be any more disgusted.
As to where this leaves me, well I don't know. I do not feel inclined to put a nanosecond more effort into this knowing that our own side has already fucked the dog - and believes that marginal spikes in the polls are evidence that the campaign isn't a shower of brain-dead dullards with no clue.
We should be able to defend our own side from the attacks by the Remain camp but we can't because there is no possible way we could without contradicting everything we have said up to press. There is no way we can lie our way through the rest of the campaign to help these losers save face.
We always knew it would be an uphill battle but if I had known it was going to be such a catastrophic wipe-out I would have saved myself the bother. So here is what we are going to do. We are going to say whatever the fuck we feel like saying on any platform we so choose, in the manner in which we so chose - and if you don't like it, you can shove it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it. How d'ya like them apples?
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